


Do you really love me?

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, Slightly depressed Gon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:26:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gon and Killua were dating. Gon always told Killua how much he loved him all the time, and couldn't stand being separated from him.However, Killua barely even said it to him. He'd always say stuff like, "You're so stupid!" and "Be quiet, you idiot." and "Cut it out, moron!", and sometimes even "God, I hate you sometimes." but then there was the very rare "I love you", but he always said it so quietly that Gon could barely hear.Killua never physically hurt him, but it seemed as if he was always insulting Gon in some sort of way. Even thought he probably (and hopefully) didn't mean it, well, it still kind of hurt.Gon thought it was adorable at first, but after a while he started questioning if their relationship was actually stable, and if Killua actually loved him.





	

Gon and Killua were dating. Gon always told Killua how much he loved him all the time, and couldn't stand being separated from him.   
However, Killua barely even said it to him. He'd always say stuff like, "You're so stupid!" and "Be quiet, you idiot." and "Cut it out, moron!", and sometimes even "God, I hate you sometimes." but then there was the very rare "I love you", but he always said it so quietly that Gon could barely hear.  
Killua never physically hurt him, but it seemed as if he was always insulting Gon in some sort of way. Even thought he probably (and hopefully) didn't mean it, well, it still kind of hurt.  
Gon thought it was adorable at first, but after a while he started questioning if their relationship was actually stable, and if Killua actually loved him.   
He couldn't assume things, obviously, but if Killua told him that he actually didn't love Gon, well, he would be upset, obviously, but he wouldn't be surprised. He would still love him with all his heart, though. No matter what he said.  
Gon always did everything for Killua, since he knew Killua needed help with most things, but Killua barely did anything for Gon. Gon was fine with that, but all he wanted was a simple "I love you" from Killua. It wasn't that much to ask, really. Just three words. But he wasn't sure how Killua would react.  
One day, Killua was at Gon's house, and they were bored out of their minds. Killua just sat there with his arms crossed, and Gon kept fiddling with his thumbs, until he finally decided to ask.  
"H-hey... Killua?" Gon asked.  
Killua turned his icy blue eyes to him. The eyes that usually freaked some people out. Others would be scared if those cold eyes were staring into theirs, but there was something about Killua's eyes that made him feel calm. Not this time, though. Gon was scared.  
"Yeah?" The white haired ex-assassin asked.  
Gon gulped. He was already having second thoughts. He hesitated for a minute.  
"Gon? Are you okay?" Killua asked, worried.  
"Do you really love me?"   
The question suddenly rang out. Killua was a bit startled by how sudden it was, but he responded. "Of course I do, Gon. What makes you think that?"  
"B-because," Gon sniffled. "Y-you never act like it... You always i-insult me in some sort of way in public, a-and it makes me feel like you don't! I can remember every single insult you've used on me... And it hurts... It hurts just even thinking about those words... And when you do say you love me... You say it really quietly so I never hear... And you only use it like, once every three months." He sniffed again. "I know you don't actually love me.... But be honest, please...."  
He started sobbing.   
Killua sat there, completely shocked. He didn't know that his words had hurt him this whole time.  
"Gon..." He moved closer to Gon and put his arms around him. He then kissed him lightly on the lips.  
"Look, I'm sorry you feel this way. I do love you. I don't know why I always insult you, but maybe it's just because I don't know what to do. I love you more than anything else in this world. I'll say it as much as I need to, to make you believe me. I don't know why you never told me about this sooner, but I love you. I do. If you died, I would kill myself just so I could be with you. I live because of you. You're the reason I'm still alive. If I never met you, I would have lost all will to live."  
He leaned in closer and whispered into Gon's ear. "I love you, and I'll do anything to prove it to you."  
Gon slowly stopped sobbing, and looked at Killua.   
Killua was starting to cry too, just saying those words. Something in those cold, usually harsh looking eyes of his made Gon think he was telling the truth. He hugged him back, which surprised Killua a bit, but he calmed down.  
"I love you, Killua!"  
"I love you too, Gon."  
After a while, Killua suddenly pulled out of the hug.  
"How long have you felt this way?" Killua asked.  
"Ever since the week after we started dating."  
It suddenly fell silent.  
"You've felt this way for over a year and six months?!" Killua asked, shocked.  
"Y-yeah, but I thought nothing of it. Eventually I realized that you might not love me, and yeah," Gon replied.  
"You, you i-" Killua stopped. He remembered what Gon said about how he didn't like Killua insulting him more than telling him three simple words. "Ugh, never mind. Goddammit, I can't get mad at you." He crossed his arms.  
He then looked at him again. "Next time, talk to me. Don't bottle up your feelings again."  
Gon nodded. "I won't."  
"Don't forget, I love you."  
Gon smiled. "I love you too, Killua."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Sorry if this kinda hit your feels a bit (which it probably didn't but if it did I'm so sorry-), I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE WILL BE A CUTE HAPPY FLUFF FIC I SWEAR-  
> Again, thanks for reading!!


End file.
